Give me a break...

OK, so yesterday, in my first post, I related how my father, a wonderful man, passed away last month. Well, this evening I"m posting a DRAFT of a letter I've written to a heating and airconditioner company that does business in the Atlanta area. I still have a few blank lines in the letter - I need to have my mother fill them in before sending it. However, please read my letter, and then feel free to let me know if you think I'm off-base. Have you ever been cheated by Snellville Heating and Air (or their commercial entity...ProAire Services, Inc.)?

April 23, 2007
Mr. Tim Matthews
ProAire Services, Inc.
P.O. Box 869
Snellville, GA 30078

Dear Mr. Matthews:

Approximately six years ago, my parents purchased an extremely expensive heating and air conditioning system through your company, Snellville Heating and Air. The system, manufactured by Trane, proved troublesome from the very beginning. Throughout the first two years, your technicians were on-site many, many times in an effort to keep the air conditioner working. I’m happy to report that they eventually seemed to work all of the kinks out. Then, three years ago, the heater failed on a very cold morning. Once again, one of your technicians came out – this time determining that the overflow line was improperly installed too close to the ground, causing it to become stopped up and frozen. But the biggest failure yet occurred a couple of months ago.

Dad’s upstairs heating unit failed on February 4th – he called your company, and the following day one of your technicians came out and determined that another water hose was frozen. After my father pointed out that the sump pump was working correctly, your technician told my parents that, based upon a diagnostic test, that a variable speed motor had failed. He ordered the part and charged my father for the initial diagnostic charge (which my father paid). Three days later, the technician came out to install the new motor. He was joined four hours later by a second technician – apparently the first man couldn’t figure out how to install the part. A short time later, they informed my father that the new motor was not the problem was “most probably” caused by an animal climbing into one of the exhaust pipes, getting stuck, dying, and thereby clogging the exhaust system. I happened to be in the family room at the time, and asked how this could have happened. Your technician told me that Snellville Heating had not placed any type of guard over the exhaust pipes when the system was installed, even though they should have. He went on to tell me that he would be “sawing the pipes up” in order to find the dead animal. Incredulous, I asked him why he couldn’t use some sort of auger to locate it – or failing that, to simply disconnect the exhaust pipe temporarily from the unit. My questions befuddled him – obviously the simple solutions had not occurred to him, and, true to his word, he came back the following day to disassemble and reassemble the pipes. Needless to say, there was no dead animal…and it turned out that the exhaust system was working normally. At this point, your technician supposedly spoke with the experts at Trane, who told them that the problem could only be a cracked heat exchanger.

The following Monday (one week after the initial service call), my father had a phone conversation with you. During the conversation, you confirmed that Trane was positive that the heat exchanger was defective and needed to be replaced. Once again, the part would need to be ordered – but at least you agreed that the part would be covered by the Trane Factory Warranty (only the part, not labor).

Four more days passed before my father finally called you – and was told that the part had arrived and could be installed the following morning.

Two men came out Friday morning to install the part at 9:30. At 2:00, they came upstairs, confident that the furnace was fixed. They were, however, wrong – the heat exchanger was obviously not the problem. At approximately 5:00, after repeated calls to Trane, they decided that the heat inducer was at fault. This is the very part listed on the original work order as being defective!

Finally, twelve days after the initial visit from your technician, a heat inducer was installed…and it took the man less than 90 minutes to do so.

Now I should also tell you that during this time frame, my father was in the final two weeks of chemotherapy and radiation, and was extremely weak and susceptible to cold temperatures. These two weeks also happened to be the two coldest weeks of the year. My father literally went from his bed (under an electric blanket) to his reclining chair next to the fireplace (and under a heating blanket) and back to bed each day. The house was too cold for him to move anywhere else. Your technician was aware of my father’s condition, but repeatedly stated that nothing more could be done.

I should also remind you that the very first work order states that the inducer was the problem. However, instead of replacing it, your technician spent countless hours “diagnosing” the unit, an entire day replacing the PVC exhaust pipes, replaced the “defective” heat exchanger that did not solve the problem, would not leave the heat exchanger with my father, and finally fixed the unit by installing the inducer – the very part that he originally stated was defective!

Further, on March 7th, Bill Roberson of Trane Corporation, called to speak with my father. My mother told him that he had undergone a seven-hour operation a few days earlier to remove the remaining cancerous mass, and would be in the ICU unit of Emory-Crawford Long for at least another week. In addition, because of the type of surgery he had undergone, it would be several more weeks until his voice would be strong enough to converse with him regarding the situation. Bill and my mother discussed the problem with their furnace and how Snellville Heating and Air handled it. Bill was very clear that my parents should not pay the bill of $880.00 because they did not need a new heat exchanger. He went on to tell my mother that your company did not look at the heat inducer as being the problem until he (Bill) insisted on it.

My father passed away two weeks later – but I assure you that he was most upset at the way your company handled the situation from the beginning. I would like to believe that my father spent two of his final weeks of life miserably cold because of the incompetence and stupidity of your technicians – and not because they had questionable motives. However, in hindsight, I’m not so sure.
I will see to it that your company is paid in full, but only after I receive an invoice that accurately reflects the work that needed to be performed – that is, without any charge for multiple service calls that resulted in the furnace not being fixed. Your own original work order clearly states that the inducer was the problem – and it was replaced almost two weeks later – at a total service time of under 90 minutes. With that in mind, I will be happy to settle the debt of 1.5 hours of service time at your prevailing service-call rate.

I look forward to receiving another, corrected invoice.

Sincerely,

David J

cc: Bill Roberson

His Days are Done...

My Dad passed away a few days ago...he was so sick for six months - chemo, radiation, losing weight, his hair...but never his optimism that this too would pass. He had a horrible, “life-saving” operation that was, by all accounts, incredibly successful. After a two week recovery in the hospital, he was sent home. Three days later he told my Mom that he wanted to rest in bed for a few more minutes – when she checked on him a short while later, he was already gone. I received a call at work from my neighbor, who told me “your Dad has fallen and you need to come home quickly.” I knew, before I hung up the phone, what I’d find…Mom was sitting on the bed, holding his hand and talking to him. I sat there with her for about five minutes, then I reached over, closed his eyes, and turned up the electric blanket (for my Mom’s sake). Within fifteen minutes, the priest and another friend from the church had come and gone – and then they took his body away. It was the longest morning of my life. The following day, I wrote the following. I wonder why, now, I couldn’t have written it a week before he passed away – but that’s not the way it works, is it?


Eulogy for Richard, my Dad, who passed away peacefully on March 20, 2007

I have heard, over the years, that writing a Eulogy can be one of the most difficult speeches a person ever has to write. And I’d have to agree – there isn’t a clear beginning, middle, or an end. Although dad passed away peacefully a few days ago, he will continue to live on through his children, grandchildren, and all the others he touched.

I’ve also heard that the loss of a parent is one of life’s most traumatic events...I now know that to be true. But I also hear that time will heal the devastating hole in my heart – and that over time the hurt will fade. That when I think of Dad, it won’t be along the lines of: today is the first Friday without him… or… this is the first Easter we’re celebrating without him. Instead, I’ll be able to look back and recall the happy times we spent together.

My dad was a remarkably good and decent man, the type of man who should be a role model for children. He was kind, gentle, hard working, cheerful, devoted and, above all else, a man of integrity. And it was understood that he expected no less from his children. These traits were ingrained in each of us, because he taught us by example. I rarely saw my Dad lose his patience or raise his voice – in fact throughout almost fifty years of knowing him, I only heard him utter a bad word twice – I was so startled the first time that I backed out of the hotel room without him ever knowing I heard it. It turns out while we were on vacation, someone at work had let him down – he hadn’t carried through on something key to one of Dad’s projects. My older sister Kathy explained that there are times when even my Dad might have to use something stronger than “Darn it.” The second time, by the way, was a couple of weeks ago – all I can say is that the food at Emory Crawford Long must really be bad!

I’ve asked my brothers and sisters, and niece and nephews for a few of their favorite memories. Here, in no particular order, are a few of them.

• Going to Costco with Benjamin, wearing matching Crocs, and then stopping at the Chick-fil-A and the Caboose Park on the way home – Dad loved taking the grandkids to the parks.
• Dad loved to read Dr. Seuss stories to us every night at bedtime – I think he knew most of them by heart.
• He also loved the Peanuts Gang – and sent Mom a Snoopy card for every occasion. We all enjoyed finding Snoopy cards to send to him – and he was so pleased when Stephen starred as Snoopy in his middle school play. It was a sad day for Dad when he heard Charles Shultz was putting down his pen.
• Dad loved the water – and spent countless hours with us at Echo Ridge – throwing us – and our friends - up in the air, or teaching us how to dive. For those of us who didn’t like heights (that would include me), he never made us feel inferior for not wanting to jump off the high board – and it was understood that nobody else would either. And at the beach, he loved to body surf – and reveled in teaching us all how to do it.
• Growing up, we always seemed to take our summer vacations with either the Ubers or Sees – both long time family friends. Those vacations continued long after we were grown…in fact, Mom and Dad, and Jackie and Don Uber vacationed together in Europe on both their 25th and 50th wedding anniversaries.
• He went to many kid functions, for us and for his grandchildren. He watched Daniel play football, enjoyed Patrick’s recitals, cheered on Cole and Bryce at baseball, and marveled at Grace’s tumbling – and helped Andrew catch a record number of fish.
• Several of his children and grandchildren inherited his thick wavy hair…although only Anna has the good fortune to have his clear blue eyes.

But as lucky as we kids were to have him as a father, it was my mother who was really blessed. To say that Dad was devoted to Mom is a huge understatement. We didn’t ever hear them argue, not because they wouldn’t or couldn’t do so in front of us – they just didn’t. Period. From time to time they might have a difference of opinion, but on those rare occasions, they worked the issue out calmly and rationally. I don’t believe my father ever raised his voice towards Mom…

When I was much younger, and Dad was moving up through the ranks at Coca-Cola, his job often took him to various parts of the country. Many were the day that he’d take the early bird out - and, as it was called back then, the owly bird back the same day. These were long hard trips that ordinarily would have called for a night on the road – but he much preferred to be home with us…and especially Mom. That’s the kind of man he was – devoted to his family – and lost without mom.

My Father believed that everything happens for a reason – and that everyone should strive to know and do the will of God. It was a very rare Sunday that we, as a family, didn’t go to church…even while on vacation in the remotest of spots – if there was a church nearby, we were there come Sunday morning. When Dad got sick last fall and became too weak to attend church in person, he so looked forward to Ann, Joe or Father Jack bringing communion to him.

For my faith in God, I thank him.

He also believed strongly that a person’s circumstances were, in most cases, heavily influenced by the decisions they had made. But he never lost faith that a person who had a history of making poor choices was beyond redemption. I know a couple of people who, because of poor choices, were on the road to ruin. However, with his guidance, support, and never ending faith, they are today renewed in life and spirit – and they are right here among us. One in particular, asked me to mention this side of my Dad, one that few have seen first hand.

I’ll close with a few comments related to the very first movie I remember seeing – Mary Poppins…and how it ties in with my Dad. Several years ago, while taking a break from building a spectacular tree fort for one of our sons, Dad came in to take a break from the heat – and enjoy a glass of iced-tea. Andrew, my youngest son, was watching Mary Poppins – and I’ll never forget the smile that graced Dad’s face when Julie Andrews began singing “Feed the Birds.”

I’m sure many of you remember Dick Van Dyke playing Bert – the chimney sweep, one-man-band, street artist, basically a jack-of-all-trades. That was my Dad…although he couldn’t play an instrument, he could do just about anything else he put his mind to…auto mechanic, electrician, woodworker, financial planner, story teller, engineer, builder, cook and grill-master. Well, anyway, do you remember Michael and Jane, off to see the bank, how they got sidetracked with a chalk drawing, and end up going on a foxhunt and merry go-round race? Along the same lines, Dad loved to travel and see new places – and he instilled that in us as well. For instance, a vacation to Niagara Falls also meant a stop at Little Round Top in Gettysburg, a tour of the Hershey factory, a stop at a glass manufacturer, a tour of the Finger Lakes, and finally the falls. A vacation to the beach also meant touring the nearby aircraft carrier, a walk to the top of the lighthouse, an afternoon at Kill Devil Hills, attending a play put on by the local townspeople, and crabbing in the Intercoastal Waterway. A vacation was never just about getting somewhere, sitting and relaxing (although we did some of that too). No, a vacation was about taking his outstretched hand, and seeing where the road would lead us.

At this point I reached down and pulled up a commemorative snowglobe of St. Paul’s Cathedral, exactly like the one Julie Andrews had in the movie Mary Poppins. It plays the hauntingly beautiful song “Feed the Birds” and birds “fly” around the Cathedral instead of snow. Over the course of the next couple of paragraphs, I twisted the key, displayed the globe for everyone to see and hear, and motioned for Patrick to take it from me and present it to Mom.

In the same movie, shortly after arriving back home, the children are told the story of an old lady sitting in front of St. Paul’s Cathedral, selling bread crumbs to passers-by to feed the hungry birds. This is a turning point in the movie – the children are learning that there is more to life than understanding the principles of making money – and their father soon comes to realize this as well. In much the same way, my father taught us, not so much with words -- but by his actions and how he lived his life - everyday, that being a good, caring, loving person, is what life is all about.

Mom – when the days get long, and they undoubtedly will – and you miss Dad more than you can just about bear, please pick up this snowglobe, twist the key, listen to the beautiful song, and remember that Dad loved you, and all of us, more than anything in the world. That is what life is all about – and nobody better exemplified that than my Father. Nobody.

In his final months, he fought his battle with courage and grace – and he also showed us how a man so thrilled with life, can be at peace with it’s end. After enduring months of the pain and agony of radiation and chemotherapy, he stoically faced the grueling seven-hour operation, knowing that if he woke up at all, that his recovery would take months of slow painful progress. And, he had just begun that journey when the Lord called him home. We look forward to the day when we will see him again – strong and sure, and the pain and sadness of his parting will be gone forever.

From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank each one of you for coming this morning. Good friends and family came from thousands of miles away to see Dad off. Many of you have taken time off from work this morning, and just about everyone had to drive a great distance to be here. That is a testament to just how well Dad was loved and admired. I know Dad is looking down upon us with a warm heart and smile on his face. May God bless him, his family, and everyone who knew and loved him.

Dad, I love you – THANK YOU – God speed.